Damn! I'm so BRIGHT...

Blue (or any of it’s shade), is more delicate and dainty, so it’s prettier for the girls. (just a random fact from my prof.)

Damn! IM SO BRIGHT! XD

please pray for them. :(

Kayo ba? Merry pa ba yung Christmas nyo habang napapanood nyo yung patuloy na pagdami ng namamatay dahil sa Typhoon Sendong? It’s time for us to send help and prayers to all the victims. Tara, that would be a wonderful gift for our kapwa FIlipinoes! And lets be thankful na di tayo masyadong naapektuhan. :(((((( 

Anonymous asked: You think too much, smile and just be yourself, don't mind what others might say to you, and by the way nice photos! What slr/dslr do you use?

wow thank you. :) hahah I didn’t use any slr/dslr, it’s just my phone

After The Rain (Another fail photo. GAAAH!)

Culinary Class: Fried Chicken Breast with Hollandaise Sauce. (Not a great Photographer!)

Have u ever felt so Empty? Or, worthless?

Have u ever asked urself questions like, “Why am I still living?” or “What’s my purpose? Why can’t I just simply die!?”

If not. You’re abnormal! Tralolololololo! XD.

Well its depression.

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affects a person’s thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. [Thanks Google!]

Depression is a mood so technically it can happen to all of us. 

Let me tell u bout something.

It happened when I was in High School [2nd year]. And it was the darkest year of my life. Everyday, I felt just like I was in hell. I belong to a class full of thieves, gangsters, evil worshipers, fakes, prostitutes, attention makers, wanna be’s and BULLIES! [See how I hated this class?]

Yes. I was a victim of bullying. Everytime I go to school, I always think of what will my classmates will do to me. Are they going to punch me? Insult my parents? Or tease me offensively? Everyone just took me for granted bcoz they all know I’m a wimp. 

There was a time that I told my classmate “Instead of torturing me with your punches, why don’t u just kill me?” Instead of stopping. He hit me harder.

I got no one to talk to about this problem. My mom’s not around. [she’s working at CA]. And I got issues with my dad. I have friends but it seems like they don’t care. So it made me worst.

I thought if graduated in HS. I’ll be able to scape all those bad memories. But I was wrong. And now, here I am. Still a wimp. Dealing with emotional problem and soon to have a mental disorder. Battling with depression.Struggling from anxiety. Eaten by loneliness, swallowed by pressure and tortured by insecurity. (Waaaay too deep)

But seriously it made my life a living hell. 5 months ago. I just broke down. There was a time that I felt like every single day I was dying. Its just so hard because I got so depress every time. I don’t know, but I always think things such as “Why aren’t we rich?”, “What’s my purpose?”, “Will I be enrolled in college?”, “Why am I so insecure?”. GAAAAAAH! I’m also anxious about everything! A simple noise can give me serious palpitation! Plus I change mood so quickly. I’m iracible in the morning, happy and calm in the afternoon and depress at night. It was like a cycle of moods. All the people who’s surrounding me was affected by my craziness. I ignore them when they’re talking to me, I always show them indecent attitude and shout at them. But the hardest part is… Is when I tried to kill myself. Everyone was sleeping, and I was at my room, crying. I felt so depress and thought that, the only answer to all of this is death. So I went to the kitchen, took the knife and tried to cut my wrist. But I realized Death wasn’t the answer! I have lots dream, I love my family and I had a purpose in life. So I turn to God and pray.

 So I spoke out and tried to seek help, but the help that I receive wasn’t the help that I wanted. I was checked by our family doctor and he just gave me meds and adviced me that, I shouldn’t think such things, coz  it will lead me no good. But I only ignored him and cried. My Mom knew about what happened so she suggested me to be checked by a psychiatrist, but I thought that It might cost us fortune, so I disagree, and promised her not to think about it anymore.

Months pass and it felt like its coming back. Well I try not to be eaten again by depression, so I always think positive! Sometimes it works. But sometimes not. 

Well I did this coz I want ya’ll to know why sometimes I’m like an emo, and for ya’ll to be able to understand me, to know that I need a person who can easily flow with my moods. Someone to be there when I’m depress. A friend who I can control his/her nerves when I shout at him/her when I’m irritated, and instead of being mad at me. He/She will remind me about my temper. I know I had lots of good friends, but I just want to be sure if they will be there until I over come my inner demons. 

I wanna thank my Family and friends for understanding me when I’m down and depress, controlling their tempers when I show them my tantrums and irrational behaviors and reminding me things that I shouldn’t do for me to recover fast. May the good Lord Bless you all!

I don’t care if I offended some people. I just wanna share what I’ve been through and the TRUTH. 

So if you’re a victim of bullying, don’t do the same mistake that  I’ve  done. I didn’t do any action. So if you’re being bullied. Ask for help! Tell your parents, teachers  or  your school heads! By this, he/she who’s bullying you will stop this senseless matter! Don’t be afraid! It’s all about the GUTS! 

And if you’re battling from depression or any kind of mental illness, don’t afraid to speak out and seek help! It’s the first and most important thing you should do for you to recuperate! And always bear in your mind that Suicide isn’t the answer.

This is for all the bullies out there! You just made us STRONG :)

—Manual of The Warrior of The Light

The friends of the warrior of light ask him where he draws his energy from.

He says: ‘From the hidden enemy.’

His friends ask who that is.

The warrior responds: ‘Someone we can no longer hurt.’

It might be a boy who beat him in a childhood scrap, the girlfriend who left

him when he was eleven, the teacher who said he was stupid. When he is tired, the

warrior reminds himself that these enemies have still not seen his courage.

He does not consider revenge, because the hidden enemy is no longer part of

his story. He thinks only of improving his skills so that his deeds will be known

throughout the world and reach the ears of those who have hurt him in the past.

Yesterday’s pain is the warrior of light’s strength.

Before I say goodbye to my age, I just wanna share all the things that I’ve been through when I was sixteen! 

Well when you’re 16, you’re curious, you seek adventures. You want to learn something new! You hate it when your just lying on your bed and just lazing around! You want to try almost everything! So just like every sixteen years old, I’ve also done so many crazy things!

Well the craziest thing that I’ve done, was when I tried to smoke. Yes I did it! (Oh Good Lord  Im so dead!!) But just a single sip. And it was a great failure. I just tried it! And I didn’t  think  making it as my vice. I also tried to drink, well, it’s so GOOD……… but SOBER IS BETTER! Always keep that in your dirty minds! 

I’m slightly nerd so I tried to make a story, and It was entitled as “The Night with my Rock Goddess”. (So neeeerd!) Unfortunately our MS OFFICE expired 4 months ago, so I lost track on writing my story and my inspiration just flew away. But I’ll resume writing, by the time that my inspiration comes back! 

I also tried to join organization, well I do it ever since I was in grade school, but this was different. It was a glee club. At first I thought it was just a club full of spiritual songs, but thank God it wasn’t! Yes! No offence to my Great Lord, but I just don’t like songs with Hallelujah’s, or whatevers. I’d rather self-pray solemly instead of singing those reapetedly tuned prayers.  But  I admire those people who made it. Can you imagine how devoted they are to God? HUWAAAAAAAAWhatever. (Not being sarcastic). 

Most of the members there were just so awesome, in both attitude and in singing! Because of their greatness, i tend to like one of their members and errr… … … … What a great singer. Speaking of which I was liked by an unusual person! it’s too confidential, so lets give that person a privacy. I used the term UNUSUAL, Oh my God! well bcoz it’s not the usual person that should be on to me. Lets just leave ths topic and lets resume to the club.

Though I quited way too early, [bcoz of rehearsal time (I always got home so late) and some personal issues.] I’ve learned so many things from them! And I wanna let them know how thankful I am to them! 

Lets be serious…….. (-_____-)

Being 16 is not just monkeying or just playing around. There were also serious and problematic times.  There were times that I felt so depress and felt like every single day, I’ve been tortured by depression. I felt like insecurity and pressure to be perfect was eating me. And I blaim it all to BULLYING!!!! I’ve been a victim of bullying when I was in High School, [second year]. And that year is what I use to call “Darkest Year Of My Life”. My Mom’s not around, I got issues with my dad, and I had problems in school. Well I thought it won’t affect me, but 5 months ago, I just broke down. I felt so devastated and tried to kill myself. Yes. I commited suicide once. But thank God, I seek help! Though the help that I received was not the kind of help that I was expecting, (wanted). Now I’m managing myself to overcome this craziness that im dealing with, and now I’m on my way in living the positive life! 

The greatest thing about this age is learning that being insecure can give u nothng but not noticing all the grateful things that you have! Whether its your appearance, the way people see’s you, or the state of your living. Why be so insecure? Why not make it as an inspiration? We all know that we have our own insecurities but being a little insecure is healthy! Well  because we try to improve ourselves for us to become better and insecuties, sometimes  drives us to make a move to achieve what we want!. But always bear in mind that as long as its in its positive way, im sure we’ll acquire what we want! Who we are is a blessing from God! So lets be proud! 

Well the reason why I did this coz I just wanna thank God for giving me 16 years of existance [and still counting!] By doing  this, I let Him know how I admire the life he gave me! And of course my family and my friends, without them, I’ll b nothing! 

I know it’s kinda ridiculous and I know I lose a little of my privacy by letting ya’ll know about my private life, but I did this coz I just wanna share all the things that I experience at this age and I just wanna let ya’ll know what I’ve been through and what I’m dealing and by that, I’m sure you’ll understand me. 

Before this ends I’ll leave two great qoutes that i know, that i embrace and i believe.

“Be positive. What you think is who you become!” -Law Of Attraction.

‎”I believe that surrounding myself with positive people who care about me is the key to staying healthy and happy.” -Demi Lovato